Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Too harsh?

Dear Neighbor –

I just wanted to send you a quick note about your dog. I know I’m not telling you something you don’t already know, but your dog barks constantly when it’s outside. It’s a very loud bark too! Over the past two months, we feel like the noise has gotten worse….especially in the early mornings. It’s become the topic of conversation among the neighbors.

Over the past few weeks, your dog wakes us up 45 minutes before our alarm actually goes off. I can’t tell you how frustrating it is….especially on the weekends, our only days to sleep in a bit later. I just wanted to bring this to your attention. I realize our schedules are quite different. I understand that you need to let your dog out before you head off to work. I am just asking that you bring your dog inside when he starts barking constantly or train him bark less. Our last two house guests also made comments about the noise and encouraged me to write this note.

The next sentence in purely for dramatic affect....it is NOT true. Simma down.

We will actually be expecting our first child in a few months and I can already envision this being a bigger problem. Please take into consideration your surrounding neighbors. I LOVE dogs and I completely understand the trials and tribulations of being a dog owner. Hopefully, this will not be a problem for much longer. I hope you understand.


My plan is to put this note in their mailbox this afternoon. As long as it looks like they are NOT home. I'll be quick. Its going to be anonymous, but I'm not going to put "From, Anonymous"...because I don't want to sound creepy. I hope it gets the point accross because it's ridiculous and makes me and Chopsticks grumpy EVERY morning.

We've thought about calling the cops for a noise violation, but you have to reach a certain decimal for it to qualify...and I don't think they sell noise readers in the dollar bins at Target, so I'm out of luck. And besides....I'm about to call them to report a broken down truck on our street. I don't want to be "that girl" who always calls the police...I would hate for them to look up my parking ticket record...or we might have a bigger problem on our hands.

Hopefully, this letter is the perfect solution!

My only questions:

1. Does the last part of the letter ...."Hopefully, this will not be a problem for much longer".....sound like I might DO something if it does? Because I don't want it to sound threatening in any way. I would NEVER do something like that.

Update: I've been told by a few people that this sentance sound a bit threatening. So...how about: "I hope this situation will be remedied soon."

2. Is it possible to train your dog not to bark or should I take that line out?

Update: Apparently, traning your dog not to bark is possible. Some suggested ideas include: cold water, shock collar, and putting them in a kennel.

Your suggestions are encouraged.


  1. HAHAHAHAHAH!!! Ok, first I was laughing at the letter and then I SERIOUSLY broke into hysterics at your first mention of the artist now known as "Chopsticks". HAHAHA! I think I need to call him just so I can say, "Hi Chopsticks, is pearls home?" Just to see what he says. LOVE.IT.

    As for the dog....yes, he barks a LOT and he barks loud. Or high pitched and annoying...however you want to say it. But, I do think the "hopefully this will not be a problem much longer" does imply some sort of threat. Not necessarily that you are going to take care of it, but meaning they need to take care of it.....like give him way or something.

    Maybe you could casually mention crating him in the house as a solution??? I don't know. Sticky situation.

  2. i don't think it sounds too harsh at all. they would call the cops if your child stood outside and yelled in their window in the early hours of the morning. you most definitely can train a dog not to bark. are they already gone to work and they leave him outside? do they not hear him?